It’s something lots of individuals suffer with, but few want to talk about – hearing loss and its impact on personal relationships. Both partners can feel frustrated by the misunderstandings that are created by hearing loss.
With Valentine’s Day just around the corner isn’t it a great time to show your love and appreciation for your loved one? Talking about hearing loss together is a great way to do this.
Having “the talk”
A person experiencing neglected hearing loss has a 2.4 times more likely chance of developing cognitive conditions like dementia and Alzheimer’s disease according to some studies. A cascade effect that will eventually affect the whole brain will be caused when the region of your brain responsible for hearing becomes less active. Doctors refer to this as brain atrophy. You know how the old saying goes, “use it or lose it”.
Depression rates amongst individuals who have hearing loss are almost twice that of an individual who has healthy hearing. Research shows that as a person’s hearing loss gets worse, they often become stressed and agitated. This can lead to the person being self isolated from friends and family. As they fall deeper into depression, people with hearing loss are likely to stop taking part in the activities they once enjoyed.
This, as a result, can lead to relationship stress among mother and son, daughter and father, close friends, spouses, and other people in this person’s life. Communication problems need to be managed with patients and compassion.
Mystery solved
Someone who is developing hearing loss might not be ready to discuss it. They might be afraid or embarrassed. Denial may have set in. You might need to do some detective work to figure out when it’s time to have the talk.
Since you can’t hear what your partner or parent hears, you’ll have to depend on outward cues, such as:
- Avoiding busy places
- Avoiding conversations
- Complaining about ringing, humming, static, or other noises that you don’t hear
- School, work, and hobbies are starting to become difficult
- Frequent misunderstandings
- Cranking the volume way up on your TV
- Failing to hear alarms, doorbells, and other significant sounds
- Agitation or anxiety in social settings that you haven’t previously observed
Look for these common symptoms and plan on having a heart-to-heart chat with your loved one.
How to discuss hearing loss
This discussion may not be an easy one to have. A spouse in denial may brush it off or become defensive. That’s why discussing hearing loss in an appropriate manner is so crucial. You might need to alter your language based on your unique relationship, but the strategies will be basically the same.
- Step 1: Inform them how much you love them unconditionally and how much you value your relationship.
- Step 2: You’re concerned about their health. You’ve seen the research. You’re aware that untreated hearing loss can result in a higher chance of dementia and depression. You don’t want your loved one to experience that.
- Step 3: You’re also worried about your own safety and health. Your hearing may be harmed by an excessively loud TV. In addition, studies show that increased noise can trigger anxiety, which might affect your relationship. If you have a burglar in your house or you’ve fallen down, your partner might not hear you yelling for help. Emotion is a strong way to connect with others. If you can paint an emotional picture of the what-ifs, it will have more impact than merely listing facts.
- Step 4: Make an appointment to have your hearing tested together. Do it immediately after making the decision. Don’t delay.
- Step 5: There may be some objections so be prepared. These could arise anywhere in the process. You know this person. What kind of doubts will they have? Will it be lack of time, or money? Perhaps they don’t detect that it’s an issue. Do they think they can use homemade remedies? (“Natural hearing loss cures” aren’t effective and can even be harmful.)
Have your responses prepared ahead of time. Even a little rehearsal can’t hurt. These answers need to address your loved one’s Worries but they don’t have to match those listed above word-for-word
Relationship growth
If your spouse is unwilling to discuss their hearing loss, it can be difficult. Openly discussing the impact of hearing loss on your relationship can help to establish a plan to deal with any communication issues and make sure that both partners are heard and understood. By having this conversation, you’ll grow closer and get your loved one the help they need to live a longer, healthier, more rewarding life. And relationships are, after all, about growing together.
References
https://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/statistics/quick-statistics-hearing#
https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/hearing-loss-common-problem-older-adults
